This morning I had no idea what to blog about. It's November Blogfest (a commitment to blog everyday) and I like when my blog posts are happy, but today is not a happy day. Today I just feel like grieving.
I am a firm believer that God gives everyone spiritual gifts. They all have their pros and sometimes they have their cons, but its true that we all have them. I have always had the give of mercy and compassion. I have loved having this gift in working with teens. Heck, I first started teaching high school girls all because I was a youth camp counselor. One the last night - "decision night" - there was a group of junior girls who were huddled around on the floor together crying and praying. The camp speaker, Jarrell Altic, came over to me and asked me if those girls were in my group and I said "no", but they were from my church. And he looked me in the eyes and said "You need to counsel them."
It was that night when I truly "embraced" the gift of mercy and compassion, and have sought to use that gift ever since. I love people and when people are hurting, I hurt with them. And it seems that in the past few months, my heart has been hurting for so many.
If you have ever read Jamsie Beats the Tumor then you have probably cried out for this family. Their 8 month old son died of a brain tumor in July. I hate reading the blog because I can't stand the thought of this happening to me, but I hurt for Kara, the mother. My heart is broken for her. Some days I just want to drive to her house (only because she lives in Dallas) and hold her and cry with her.
Then there is a friend of mine from high school. We went to high school and church together. He and his wife Lindsay were high school sweethearts. I knew Lindsay and her sister, Devon. I remember getting to know them at youth camp and remember how beautiful the love was between Gabe and Lindsay way. They eventually got married and had two boys, Brody and Cash. This past August, Lindsay past away due to complications with pneumonia. Gabe is left to raise his two boys (3 and 11 months at the time) alone without his high school sweetheart. Gabe started a blog called Part of the Miracle and every time I read his posts my heart breaks for him. I have cried for him and for those sweet boys who will grow up without their momma.
Then today, I learned about Natalie. Natalie was one of the church secretaries where I used to go to church. She was one of the sweetest people I have ever met with the biggest, brightest smile. Natalie and her husband were expecting their first baby - a girl - any day now. But the Lord had other plans and decided that sweet baby needed to be in Heaven. Last night Natalie had to deliver her daughter; a daughter who didn't have a heartbeat. So today I, again, feel completely broken. I have cried tears for this family who lost their first child. I can only imagine how their celebration and anticipation turned to brokenness and despair.
I look at pictures of my daughter and I cry. I cry because I am so thankful because she is here and healthy; but I cry because I wish so badly that others had the ones they love here and healthy. I cry for the mommas whos' arms ache to hold their babies; I cry for a father who's arms long to hold his wife; I cry for children who cry out in the night for their mom to come and rock them back to sleep.
So today I write this post and beg for your mercy; for your prayers. Will you please pray for these families? Will you pray that the Lord will rain down His peace and comfort on these families? Will you pray for these mommas who cry for their babies? Will you pray for a daddy who tries to explain why momma isn't here anymore? I know I am - the mercy in me is crying out to my Savior to heal hearts and brokenness.